Lucille's

WORDS

    And now….drumroll.......... the sermon for today.

 ( tomorrow I promise a lighter topic.....

A Ton Of Tomatoes!)

 Words. This subject is hardly rocket science, but perhaps bears looking at now and again. (For rocket science, you must consult Lyndsey, my cousin Heather’s daughter. She is famous in our family for working on the Canada Arm! I will use her as my claim to fame.)

    Well now, back to my lecture…I’m really talking to myself here, but feel free to listen in.

    The power of words is unmistakable. Their effect is instant…….. whether to inflate or deflate, enhance or detract, mortify or exalt, inform or judge.

    These are words I have had spoken to me ……they are the kind you never forget:

                       Daddy died tonight

                                       I’m leaving you                                                

       You had a perfect little baby boy but he was stillborn                     

       Your son has been in an accident

       We need to do another surgery

   These words are informational but the kind that are an assault to our every sense. They usually come out of nowhere and they jar us in varying degrees. We enter new realities we never wanted to explore. There is no escape.

    Then there are these words that have been spoken to me:

                                You need to go on a diet

                                Do you like your hair that way?

                                I don’t know why I married you

                                Your limping around is embarrassing

                                I can’t believe you can’t do that

  These are hard words…they are intentional, stabbing, demeaning, rejecting words about our personhood and they are the hardest because they didn’t have to be said. They are meant to wound, to debase, to elevate the speaker, to put us in our place. These are the words that can turn a sunny day into a maelstrom, plunge us into despair, make us question ourselves and our worth, breed hate for the one who spoke them, form our identity based on their remarks/opinions about us. They love to come back to haunt us in the night.

   I had such a night last night. Someone I love and have had a wonderful relationship with has accused me of something terrible….something that I would never think about doing…E.V.E.R. I was crushed. I cried…no chokingly sobbed. I tried to defend myself to no avail. My character was impugned. My faith was mocked. I lay awake composing a letter in my head  to express my sadness and present my case and mourn the loss of trust. I thought of Jesus and wondered again how he, perfectly innocent, could stand before his accusers and remain silent.

                It seems I still struggle to remember that I am not responsible for another’s unkind words/actions, but only for my reactions. If I choose to believe a lie about me, I can’t be the me I’m supposed to be. I lose out and so does everyone who comes in contact with me.

   But then there are these words:

                                Grammy, I love you

                                Mom, your love in my life has made all the difference

                                You’re my BFF

                                Where do you get your hair done?

                                I love your place

                                Thank-you for all your hard work

                                You are such a strong woman

                                I love how you reflect Jesus

                                When I grow up I want to be just like you

    These are the beautiful words, the ones we sing over and over to ourselves. We love them because they make us feel loved and because we know someone took the time and effort to speak them to us out of the largeness of their heart. I have two hatboxes filled with notes and letters and cards from my children and friends and family that I occasionally dump on the bed and spend a few hours re-reading and once again re-living the sense of warmth and caring they evoke. May, and Vivian and Marion and Sandy and Carol and Wilma and Judy and Karen and Patsy and others…like you my new followers.....you have blessed me with your words. My kids, Feona and Kevin….you have honoured me again and again by what you say and write.

    It makes me remember how little time it takes to send a card or note and how appreciated they are. 

     I am reminded of the children’s song, “O Be Careful Little Tongue What You Say.”  Sometimes we need to bite it really hard!! We are often so full of ourselves and think we are being helpful or constructive in offering our words of advice or criticism, but unless we know the recipient really well and have a trusting relationship with them things can go sideways very quickly. Proffering such advice requires much discernment and grace couched in loving phrase. It takes a very mature, confident recipient of such words to get past the ‘smart’ of feeling attacked to a place where they can sift out the kernel and see the truth about a shortcoming or weakness that is exposed.

  Perhaps it would be better to practise using our words to bless and build up whenever we can. You and I have that power to use our words for good.

  I. dare. you!

Some wise words to live by:

A fit word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Proverbs 25:11

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Prov. 16:24

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Prov.15:1

The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life. Prov.15:4

A man finds joy in giving an apt reply, and how good is a timely word .Prov. 15:23